Wednesday, April 30, 2008

OH, SH*T!

It's happened in movies and at least once or twice in real life.

Imagine:

You're a teenager and your parents have decided to go away for a week on vacation leaving. You've got the place to yourself and your friend totally has a fake I.D. or an older brother.

Par-tay!

But then the morning after, you wake up to the phone ringing.

You immediately smell stale beer and vomit. You walk to the phone and your feet stick to the ground where someone spilled their jungle juice. You answer the phone.

"Hey sweetie!"

Ugh "Hi mom," yawning as you make a face seeing how many plastic cups and beer cans are strewn around the previously pristine living room. You hope that condom on the carpet leave a mark. And who put out their cigarette in the ficus pot?

"Well, your father is having problems with his allergies up here at the cabin so we've decided to come back a little early. See you in a few hours!"

--

Think about the look on that poor teenager's face.

--

"Um, Mr. Mayor, the Emir from Qatar is coming. Uh, I don't know how to tell you this... He wants to check up the $100,000,000 that he left for us."

"OH, SH*T! Get Francis on the phone, get him on the phone! When did he say he was coming? AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

--

I noticed the article really only explained $5 million for Xavier scholarships, $12.5 million for Xavier's new college of pharmacy, and some other vague allusions to scholarship programs at Tulane.

Where's the rest of it?

I hope the Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa Al-Thani asked for receipts.

How many homes could one hundred million dollars have restored? Tulane has an endowment like Ron Jeremy. They can give away their own scholarships.

--

You can't just throw away all the beer cans and mop the floors and expect mom not to realize that there was a party the night before.

3 comments:

celcus said...

You must have missed this one:

http://www.nola.com/timespic/stories/
index.ssf?/base/library-146/
120944642528810.xml&coll=1&thispage=1

It was not a blank check to the city. I don't know if any of the funds went to the city, at all.

Children's Hospital received $5.4 million, to care for uninsured children and to repair and re-equip two clinics.

Habitat for Humanity was given $22 million to build 293 homes in Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama.

Xavier University received $12.5 million for a new building for its College of Pharmacy.

Nearly $20 million was divided among LSU Loyola, Tulane and Xavier for scholarships for students whose lives were turned upside down by Hurricane Katrina.

Tulane's Community Health Care Clinic, received $5 million



And the inside word was that had certain thing broke the wrong way, Tulane faced the real possibility of failing following Katrina. The hit to the University was tremendous and they are still recovering in many areas. (Note, this is not to be taken as pro-Cowen)

E said...

Celcus, I had absolutely no fact to back up my insinuation about the Emir's money. I was just picturing that phone call.

I wonder how much trouble Tulane was really in. I know that some departments have suffered major cuts. I also know they have a brand new baseball stadium. I guess it's all relative.

celcus said...

Universities in general have real issues with the "endowment" funding mechanism. Often the gifts usually tied to specific purposes (that the benefactors name can go on): a new building, a program, etc. However, money to maintain the new building, or provide classroom space for the new program get short shift. They may have lots of funds on paper, but they legally can't spend them or the proceeds to reconstruct the campus. It gets very complicated, and this is not just a Tulane issue.

The stadium was under construction prior to Katrina. I would have to assume that the stadium money was donated and raised specifically for that purpose, which left them stuck.

Oh, and I did like the post.