The Rockets' Red Glare and Bursting Bombs

I've been holding back on on this post because I freaked myself out for awhile and didn't know that I wanted to tell anyone about it. Also, it might reveal an embarrassing detail about myself. But, you know, I've just got to put this out there because it's still stuck in my mind and it feels right... I apologize if this runs a little long but I encourage you to read the whole thing because that will do more to stoke my ego. It's a true story.

First I'll start by disclosing that I'm a nerd and a loser because one of my favorite things about living here in New Orleans is the Tulane Green Wave men's basketball team. I'm not just a fan, I think I might be obsessed. I can name every player on the roster and tell you all about their games. I can tell you that Dave Dickerson and his boys will be making a surprisingly big splash in Conference USA this year.

I'm such a nerd and loser, as a matter of fact, that I went to last Thursday's exhibition game against Loyola, without my usual nerd krewe, and I sat by myself.

I just HAD to see how much time redshirt freshman Johnny Mayhanne would get. What about transfer guard Eric Vianney? Would freshman recruit Kris Richard get any playing time? Are the seniors pumped up about the season?

All of these thoughts kept running through my head. I couldn't wait to call up the friends that usually come to the games with me and give them my scouting report... How do the Shockwave Dancers look this year? New moves? Is Fogelman Arena in midseason form? I took mental notes... I was so excited for college basketball season...

But then the arena PA guy interrupted my thoughts -

"will everyone please rise for the national anthem"

Ugh, I was just getting comfortable. But I got up, as did everyone else, albeit more reluctantly than in better times... Others grumbled as well."

My thoughts changed. I stopped thinking about whether Kevin Sims could cut down on this turnovers as a sophomore. And my emotions turned too. I wasn't excited anymore. I was angry.

Different sorts of things started popping into my head:

Iraq. Torture. An inept Congress.

The crowd turned and faced the arena's flag. I turned with them.

Domestic spying. Suppression of science. Overall executive branch authoritarianism.

The national anthem began sounding from the speakers.

Lies. Levees. Habeas Corpus.

I looked to my left, my right, and back at the flag.

Impending WWIII, Electoral improprieties. Healthcare crisis. Education. Corporate influence. Possible recession. Global warming. Blackwater. More spying. More lying. Less levees. Inconvenient facts counter to our images of American heroism and idealism in history.

Only a few lines of the anthem had been sung. But I turned around and as people started to look, I said aloud, "fuck this, not today," and I sat down. People laughed but I was red hot. I've always stood for the anthem but I wasn't going to this time. "Screw this. I read the paper every day. I see what's going on. I'm not doing this shit."

Someone asked, "so you're not American?" I said, "I guess I'm about not to be."

Another person said "I feel like doin' what he's doin'." But nobody else did as I sat there until the anthem finished and everyone joined me in their seats.

For me, this was big. For a while now, I've been talking with lots of different people, from friends to strangers about our collective dissatisfaction with the direction of this country. It's really bad right now. What happened to peace and prosperity? How long will I stand to fund these types of policies with my tax dollars? We talk about what might happen if there's a President Thompson, a President Giuliani, a President McCain, or a President Romney. Will the downward direction of the United States continue? Is this really a place I want to be raising children?

Over one century ago, my ancestors came to this land on a dirty boat from different parts of Eastern and Central Europe. They came carrying the clothes on their backs and maybe a beat up suitcase. They scrapped and clawed to get on their feet. They lived in rat-infested tenements in Manhattan. They walked eight miles to and from school uphill both ways in the snow. They were poor. They struggled. But they believed that the United States would provide a better future for their children and grandchildren. They were immigrants.

They left their homes and their families - a difficult decision, but one that was definitely in their best self interests because this place has been so so good for us. We've given back so much love in thanks; my grandfathers served in WWII and my mother and father are community activists in Philadelphia. We love our communities and our neighbors!

But I don't forget what my ancestors did when they felt they had to.

My ancestors - my great grandparents - and I are not so different. I too own a suitcase and have clothes on my back.

They keep telling me and people like me that we're not patriotic, that we don't support the troops, that we must want the Islamofacists to win - and I'm tired of it. Maybe they're right, I don't love America as much as they do. It's because, instead, I love my family and value the ethics we share.

So if my country's government continues to be one that evokes my anger and fear rather than one that inspires my pride and service, I must do what is right for my family and do as my ancestors once did.

I've been to other countries before.

In other countries, they don't lock people up for years for nonviolent activities, they provide free health care, all qualified students go to college for free, all workers get vacations and pensions, their governments don't go to war for corporate dividends, they don't have murders on the streets all the time, and so on and so forth.

...and I'm aware of all of these things...

I want so badly to stay for ever and ever. I want to retire to Philadelphia and go to every single Phillies game every summer with my totally hot wife until I die. But I'll do what is best for me and my family.

I still feel weird about my outburst at the basketball game. It's not something I expected to do. It just happened.

What will happen this Friday at Fogelman Arena when YOUR Tulane Green Wave take on the Auburn Tigers to officially kick off the season?
Will I stay seated this time? Will I recover to swallow hard and stand?
Can the Green Wave make the NIT this year?

November 2008 and the first 120 or so days of 2009 will determine a lot about the future of this country and the future of e. I suspect there are a lot of people out who are considering the same difficult choice, not including my group of freedom-hating friends, acquaintances, and strangers already fretting over this sad reality.