Monday, October 15, 2007

Poll Results Disputed

Run-Off Required

Unfortunately, our young democracy here at We Could Be Famous is facing a serious constitutional challenge. The first free election ever held here is in after the polls closed over the weekend.

The official tally indicates that of the four choices in the race for Most Important, none finished with the necessary 50% to avoid a runoff.

Being Totally Hot finished with a plurality of votes, netting 40%. Lip Gloss came in second with 24%. Being Famous finished a disappointing third with only 18%. Finding Jon Benet's Killer, a long-shot choice that raised little money over the course of the campaign, finished with a surprisingly strong 16% of the vote.

E-Voting Questioned

Being Famous, from the would-be victory party in the Marriot lobby could not be directly reached for comment. Officials close to the campaign say that the candidate was huddling with lawyers late into the night, determining whether or not to file a legal challenge relating to the constitutionality of the electronic voting machines used for the election.

The implementation new electronic voting machines has been lingering controversy since the amendment requiring paper backup records was shot down in a closed legislative session. A senior official with the Being Famous campaign said that the survey numbers leading up to the vote as well as exit poll numbers indicated that Being Famous' vote totals should have been much higher. Without paper backups, a recount would be largely symbolic, the official said.

Supporters of Being Famous Vigilant

Some of Being Famous' most ardent and loyal supporters also say that the vote process itself was stacked against their candidate from the start. With many of the e-voting locations out in the public, famous people, those most statistically likely to believe that Being Famous is Most Important, were scared to cast a ballot. "I can't go out there with those people," said one famous person, on the condition of anonymity. "Famous people shouldn't have to stand in line or be around ugly people," he added. One professor of elections law added, "Fame is the fabric of what is 21st Century America. If you take away a famous person's right to avoid people that are not famous, then you remove an important incentive for the non-famous to build organic fame." Without that, he argued, "they can just sit outside of high-end restaurants waiting for fame handouts. It's the old adage: give a man an autograph, he feels famous for a day; teach a man how to get a book deal, he signs his own autographs for life." A second famous person seemed to echo the overall sentiment, "I'm just tired of people getting famous because they're accidentally in the background of pictures that are supposed to be of me."

A panel of three judges on the 1st District Appellate Court agreed unanimously to hold off official announcements regarding a potential run-off between Lip Gloss and Being Totally Hot until the legal challenges of famous people are vetted later this week.

No comments: