Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Nagin to Eliminate All Trash Cans

After seeing the overwhelming poll results here at We Could Be Famous, your mayor, the C. Ray Nagin has decided to respond.

First a recap of the results:

Turnout was typical for a New Orleans primary, with 12 people rushing for the polls.
One person believed that the new trash cans are still too munchkin-like and need to be made even taller.
One person cast a vote against the new trash cans because they are now too tall.
Ten voters adopted the position that the new trash cans are adequate but need to be replaced anyway just because.

Thus, Mayor Nagin responded to the citizens of We Could Be Famous through his spokeswoman:

"The Mayor believes this city cannot rebuild until a compromised consensus is reached. After his meetings with business leaders, the Mayor has decided to continue his pledge to unite this city. All municipal trash cans will be removed. A no-bid contract for the disposal of the trash cans has been reached with an undisclosed company. The city will be billed $8 million for the service. However, the Mayor insists that it will save the city millions more in future budgets because he has eliminated the high costs of trash bags, staffing, and replacement cans."

When asked by a shouting reporter about the weekend's murders, the Nagin spokeswoman simply laughed:

"They're shooting for K-Ville!"

No comments: