Friday, March 21, 2008

McCain Picks up a Banana at 3AM

Does he know how to put a condom on it?

The other day, Mr. Oyster posted an interesting analysis of the construction of 'McCain the Confused' as a linguistic weapon.

Oyster argues that it is particularly devious because it plays on concerns related to Mr. McCain's age.

It certainly allows Democrats to roast Mr. McCain for his wrong-headed ideas and to seize upon misstatements and Bushisms related to Islam without being "mean" and "attacking" him.

Saying "you know, I'm wondering if maybe Mr. McCain is confused as to who our enemies are in Iraq and Afghanistan and the larger War on Terror" is softer than saying "you know, Mr. McCain is trying to mislead you into perpetual war."

I also think that age will become a campaign issue whether or not his opponents try to augment the case with the confusion device:

Have you ever seen John McCain in high definition?

I know it's superficial but it will definitely make an impression on voters to see Mr. McCain's psoriasisface standing in front of some recycled blue background that says "keeping america safe" in a split screen shot that juxtaposes him with Mr. Obama delivering an energetic speech to a crowd of thousands. I'm just sayin'...

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Either way, the War on Terror isn't the only thing that Mr. McCain has found confusing. That's not the only issue on which he seems out of touch with reality. In fact, he demonstrated incredible ignorance on a critical issue:

Doing it.

Witness this exchange between he and a reporter last year:

Q: “What about grants for sex education in the United States? Should they include instructions about using contraceptives? Or should it be Bush’s policy, which is just abstinence?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “Ahhh. I think I support the president’s policy.”

Q: “So no contraception, no counseling on contraception. Just abstinence. Do you think contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV?”

Mr. McCain: (Long pause) “You’ve stumped me.

Q: “I mean, I think you’d probably agree it probably does help stop it?”

Mr. McCain: (Laughs) “Are we on the Straight Talk express? I’m not informed enough on it. Let me find out. You know, I’m sure I’ve taken a position on it on the past. I have to find out what my position was. Brian, would you find out what my position is on contraception – I’m sure I’m opposed to government spending on it, I’m sure I support the president’s policies on it.

Q: “But you would agree that condoms do stop the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Would you say: ‘No, we’re not going to distribute them,’ knowing that?”

Mr. McCain: (Twelve-second pause) “Get me Coburn’s thing, ask Weaver to get me Coburn’s paper that he just gave me in the last couple of days. I’ve never gotten into these issues before.

"Can you find out what my position is on contraception"

I think we can all agree that his position is largely missionary. (Zing!)

Are you sure you want to follow the President on this one?
Bush's abstinence only sex ed curriculum has worked wonders.

Mr. McCain, what are condoms for? Do they help prevent transmission of HIV and other STDs?
What is your position? Sounds like you're.... confused.

Maybe call up Bob Dole on the matter...... if he's not, ya know.... busy.

1 comment:

How Insane Is John McCain? said...

I like "McCain the confused!" I'm also partial to "McCain is Insane."